The Guardsmen and the Custodes

When Men meet Demi-Gods

So Warhammer 40,000 has been in the news recently and not for the right reasons. The fans of the hobby have known that Games Workshop has slowly been infiltrated by the Woke for a while but have been content to leave it alone as it’s hard to Wokeify a setting where pretty much all the races are fascists and the lore is all about war and slaughter. But nooooooooo. They couldn’t help themselves. They’ve decided to change the lore for the Adeptus Custodes by saying there are female members (there isn’t) and then lied about the lore. Either way here’s a short story with a Custodes presence. #nofemalecustodes lol.

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"It is the 41st Millennium. For more than a hundred centuries the Emperor of Mankind has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Earth. He is the master of mankind by the will of the gods and master of a million worlds by the might of His inexhaustible armies. He is a rotting carcass writhing invisibly with power from the Dark Age of Technology. He is the Carrion Lord of the vast Imperium of Man for whom a thousand souls are sacrificed every day so that He may never truly die.

Yet even in His deathless state, the Emperor continues His eternal vigilance. Mighty battlefleets cross the daemon-infested miasma of the Warp, the only route between distant stars, their way lit by the Astronomican, the psychic manifestation of the Emperor's will. Vast armies give battle in His name on uncounted worlds. Greatest amongst His soldiers are the Adeptus Astartes, the Space Marines, bio-engineered super-warriors. Their comrades in arms are legion: the Imperial Guard and countless planetary defence forces, the ever-vigilant Inquisition and the Tech-priests of the Adeptus Mechanicus to name only a few. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold off the ever-present threat to humanity from aliens, heretics, mutants -- and far, far worse.

To be a man in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable. These are the tales of those times. Forget the power of technology and science, for so much has been forgotten, never to be relearned. Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim dark future there is only war. There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods."

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Ed stood at attention, murmuring and repeating the prayers that the Adeptus Ministorum Crusader was calling out. He watched the woman call out the prayers to the Emperor, dressed in a simple brown robe tied at the waist with an ornate belt. A scabbard hung at her waist which carried her power sword. It was said that she trained with the Adeptus Astartes to improve her skills in sword craft. She had brown hair tied into a simple ponytail and she surveyed the room with her fierce brown eyes.

Their eyes met for a split second and Ed lowered his own. All the regiments that had taken part in the battles to cleanse the Forge World Beta Cornix were arranged in ranks within the hanger of their ship. The Commissar’s were in front of a large raised stage, facing the ranks of troops. Prayers would occur, awards and honourable mentions also, all to raise the morale of the troops until the next battle and the next war.

Servo skulls flew around the hanger, the Crusaders words blaring from the speakers lodged into the mouths. Flags and banners hung from the ceiling, detailing past victories. Ed looked down at the medal on his chest commemorating the victory. It was nice to receive it but deep down he knew he was lucky. All Guardsmen and women that survived a campaign were lucky.

Suddenly there was a clang and slowly, with a whoosh of air, the hangar doors started to open. The Crusader stopped talking and looked up and a fervour entered her eyes. She licked her lips as heavy thumps entered the hanger. Everyone turned to look.

Three giant men had entered and were walking up towards where the Crusader stood on her raised stage. They were clad in golden ornate armour and each held a spear. Two were helmed and carried a large chest between them that would have taken at least four men to carry. The front giant held his spear in one hand and a large scroll in another. They oozed lethalilty and death and Ed could see the leaders eyes darting around taking in everything, looking for threats even amongst supposed allies. “Custodes” the man next to him whispered fervently.

The Crusader dropped to one knee as they approached the raised dais, her head bowed. The three Custodes in golden armour looked down upon her.

“Rise Crusader” the helmless Custodes said, his voice a low baritone. She rose but kept to one side, watching as all three turned to face the mass ranked of men and women in front of them. They surveyed the crowd before them and Ed wondered what demi-gods like that could be thinking. The helmless one approached the edge of the stage.

“Soldiers of the Emperor.” he said, “you have fought well these last few months, killing the xenos and cleansing the Forge World of filth so that it may continue to supply our armies with the arms and armour to fight the Emperor’s wars.”

He looked around, meeting the eyes of everyone he could and everyone seemed to stand a little straighter when the deep black eyes met their own. Ed guessed the Custodes eyesight was much better than his own since the Custodes had been created using the gene sciences that had also created the Adeptus Astartes.

“We have had the honour of standing in the presence of the Emperor Himself” the Custodes continued. “For many of you stood here now, that is something that will never happen, so me and the other members of my brotherhood come to honour you in His name and present rewards for your courage and bravery.”

Everyone looked around, wondering what the rewards could be. The Custodes smiled and called out a name. A look of shock passed over a Commissar facing them and he turned. The Custodes beckoned him up onto the stage. He was presented with a Power sword to replace his chainsword and saluted the Custodes as he left the stage to take his place facing the troops.

More names were called out, their accomplishments called out were rewarded with promotions and rewards. Some received weapons or armour, higher ups received land and estates on planets, some received credits.

Ed was surprised when his name was called.

“Trooper Knoll” The baritone voice rumbled out. Ed looked to his left to see Sgt Wend gesturing to him to move up onto the stage.

Ed slowly marched up to the stage, moving closer to the Custodes. Up close they were huge, taller even than what the Space Marines he had seen had been. They were broad too, the armour making them even broader with the huge shoulder pauldrons. Eyes going over the armour, Ed could see that the detail was exquisite and that he would never own anything half as beautiful as the armour they were wearing. The spears that the other two were holding looked deadly and Ed knew that if they wanted it, the whole hanger of men and women could be dead in minutes.

Ed knelt down in font of the Custodes, head bowed, exposing his neck. “Trooper Knoll.” the baritone voice said. “You have displayed courage during the last few campaigns. You have fought and killed the enemies of the Emperor and for that you are commended. You shall be promoted to sergeant and gain your own squad of troops to lead and grow. I present to you this chainsword and plasma pistol as an extra reward for your courage and bravery. Rise”

Ed looked up, unable to believe his ears. He looked up into the face of the Custodes who, despite the occasion, still had a grim look on his face. In his hands he held some sergeant patches, a brand new chainsword and a plasma pistol in a holster. He didn’t move and the Custodes finally said “take them” with a hint of humour in his voice.

Ed reached out and took them, his hands trembling. “Thank you my Lord. I promise to honour the Emperor and kill more enemies of the Imperium with them.”

This time the Custodes did smile. “Very good Sergeant Knoll” he intoned and inclined his head in a small nod of respect.

Ed made his way back to his position, standing a little bit taller. His hand still clutching his gifts from the Custodes. He took his place and watched as the last few names were called out.

As the last man took his place back in the lines the three Custodes all faced them once more. The one who had done all the talking spoke once more.

“Thus ends this small ceremony. Now me and the others from my Brotherhood bring news. There is a new war to fight. The heretics of Chaos have taken a system and we must free it. We will do so in His name. May you all walk in the light of The Emperor. Fight in His name. Win in His name and remember, only in death does duty end.”

The Custodes left the stage and made for the exit of the hangar, everyone’s eyes watching them as they left.

Ed gulped as the troops received the order to fall out and his squad mates came and congratulated him. He would be in charge of his own squad and sooner than he reckoned. He glanced down at the new plasma pistol in his hand. He would cherish this gift for the rest of his days. Sgt Wend patted his shoulder. “Good going Ed, you deserve it.”